So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
