Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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