talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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