anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
