dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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