oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm bleeding and have questions
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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