FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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