No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
