i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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