No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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