you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
