it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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