she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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