Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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