you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
