He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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