you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
