if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i jhust puked up my retainher.
This is not my ceiling
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
