no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
