i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
