You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
