Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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