Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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