are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
