your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
