but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
