your thong is hanging out like whoa
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
