her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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