____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
