i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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