What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Randomize
