how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
