Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
