Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
