it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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