If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
