Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
