I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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