so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
