Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
