Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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