Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
