I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
My brain says no but my pants say off.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
