is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
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