it wasn't lemon gatorade
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
