the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
