you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize