I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
