dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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