You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
