She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Two words: blizzard sex
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
