I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize