last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize