I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
