Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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