he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
