that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
