he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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