I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
