you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
