Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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